There is a mild obsession in our culture about having a soulmate. Books are being written about it. Celebrities are gushing about having found it. And divorce papers are being filed because somehow people have lost it.
A better question is what in the world is a soulmate? Here is what Dictionary.com says about it:
A person with whom one has a strong affinity, shared values and tastes, and often a romantic bond.
According to this definition I think I may have had several soulmates in my lifetime. Is that possible? And can a soulmate become unsouled? Because some people seem to find their soulmate and then lose him. Searching for your soulmate doesn’t guarantee a soul-ution for life-long happiness in marriage.
Have you guessed where I am going with this? I am frustrated with this fictional excuse to leave your spouse!
Here’s an analogy we can appreciate. Can you buy a pair of shoes, wear them for 10 years, and then take them back to the store? Can you demand a different pair because, “These really aren’t the right shoes…” for you? Do you think they would accept that you were really meant to have the new ones in the window instead of the pair you chose 10 years ago?
Somehow, using the word “soul” provides an excuse for some people to do whatever they want—justifying their decision as if it were for some higher purpose. “I found my soul mate.” Spoken as if there can be no argument with their conclusion because it is mystical, or spiritual.
I will be very honest with you. I have five children. The fact is that I have more in common with a couple of them. Do I look at the others and say, “Sorry! Go find another mommy because you are not my soul-child.” Absolutely not! I love ALL my children.
Your husband is your soulmate or rather your sole mate. If YOU married him, then he is it. Don’t waste time and energy looking for Mr. McDreamy—the guy you think you should have because your husband turned out to be slightly different. If you had McDreamy, odds are he’d probably end up like that old pair of shoes you no longer want . . . another lost soulmate.
